Who Am I?

Tell us about yourself in no more than four sentences.

Four sentences? That’s all?!?

How can I reduce myself to only four sentences?  How can I convey all that I am – my hopes, my dreams, my passions, my philosophy – in four measly lines?

How will they ever know how perfect I am for this writer/researcher job if I can’t give them more than four sentences?  Do you think they’ll accept run-on sentences?

Let me check the requirements…

Nope. Requirement #5 – Proper grammar and spelling is mandatory.

Well, pooh.

Seriously, people. Do you really expect me to squeeze 4 decades into 4 lines. That’s only one sentence per decade!

How am I supposed to – –

Oh, wait.

What if I can’t write four sentences?

What if all that I am boils down to a few simple words? A sentence fragment. Not even a complete thought!

What if my life can be summed up in a tombstone inscription?

Here lies KJ Smith. Beloved wife, mother, daughter.

That’s not even two complete sentences. Ohhhh, my life is so sad!!! <AAAAAGGHHH>

No, no. I can do this. I’m blowing this thing way out of proportion. This could be a great opportunity for me. And for the company. Heck! That company needs me!

They need to know what an interesting person I am and what an asset I will be.

Yeah. That’s right. I’m an asset!

Sure, I may be a bit of a strange creature.

And, yes, I might even call myself “weird”. But that’s only because I simply don’t see the world as others do. I have a unique perspective.

A unique perspective – that sounds pretty good. I think I’ll use that.

I have to admit, though, I do have a sort of odd sense of humor.

I find myself laughing at the crazy images flashing in my head created by the poorly chosen words of others. Those others who spoke the poorly chosen words don’t seem to appreciate my laughter.

Let’s call that imaginative and light-hearted. That’ll work.

At times, I might be considered a goofball. (I once held a friend’s gallon of milk for ransom.) But most of the time, I’m content watching others be goofballs.

Observant – that’s a good job skill, right?

Most days, I don’t feel like I fit in – with my peers, with other women, with the rest of the world.

I have difficulty expressing my desires, such as what I want for my birthday, what I want for my future, what I want for me. It drives my husband crazy.

Decisions are not my forte. That also drives my husband crazy.

Maybe those last few revelations aren’t absolutely necessary.

Speaking of driving my husband crazy, I am a bit of a smart alec. Did I say “a bit”? Sure, we’ll leave it at “a bit.”

I think the operative word there is “smart”. Yes, yes. Remember to emphasize “smart”!

I find beauty in the broken – things, situations, people.

An optimist – Oooo, that’s good!

I feel that everyone deserves to be viewed through the eyes of love.

A people person – who’d’ve thunk it!

On the other hand, I have very little tolerance for incompetence. I take pride in my work and think everyone else should, as well.

OK. That sounds a bit haughty. How about “I hold myself to a higher standard”? Yeah. That might work.

I love the Lord. I love my family. I love coffee. I love to write. I love music. I love the movie “Mary Poppins”. In that order. However, coffee’s ranking may fluctuate depending on certain circumstances.

I am quiet in a crowd. I am outspoken amongst family and close friends. I am hard-working on the job. I am lazy on my days off. I laugh at quirky humor. I roll my eyes when the humor is dry. I cry when – well, just about anything can make me cry.

Yep, I’m a strange creature and who I am today is a result of so many factors – my muscle disorder, my anxiety, my longing for acceptance, my desire for acknowledgment, my accomplishments, my failures, my relationships and so much more. God has used all of these things to shape me into a wonderfully unique individual who knows exactly what she brings to the table!

And knows that this is definitely not what the company was asking for.

Sigh.

Well, I guess it’s time to attempt the abridged version. 😉

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