Happiness in Uncertainty

“I know one thing for sure,” my husband declared as he walked through our bedroom door with a tall glass of sweet tea in his hand. The statement came out of nowhere but was made as if the two of us had finished a long debate on some deep subject about which neither of us were able to come to any conclusion and the only way to end such a debate was to state a matter of certainty. It’s highly possible, though, that my husband had debated the matter all in his head prior to entering our room and felt the need to sum it up for me with his enlightened statement of truth.

No matter, I was curious and eagerly inquired of his certainty. “What’s that?” I asked.

He paused for a brief moment at the foot of our bed as if searching for the perfect words to express his great truth. Finally he replied, “Give me a minute. I’m trying to remember what I was going to tell you.” Then he lifted his glass and took a long drink of sweet tea as I laughed at his forgetfulness.

And I did laugh – not because I was mocking him (well, maybe just a little – okay! A lot!) but because that brief conversation with my husband pretty much sums up my life. When I think I have it all figured out, life always takes a surprising turn and everything I thought I knew for certain gets thrown out the window. I find myself stumped and perplexed around every bend and when called upon to take action or make a decision or simply respond, I hear myself saying, “Uhm. Give me a minute.”

Ah, but maybe that’s the certainty: Life is uncertain. And maybe that’s what makes life worth living. If I had all the answers, if I knew every situation I would face, what kind of life would that be? Sure, if I knew what problems await me tomorrow, I could take steps to avoid them. But what if by avoiding a problem, I miss a valuable lesson that could help me in the future or make me a better me? And wouldn’t knowing all the good that was coming my way take some of the joy out of the blessing?

I don’t know.

I do know that in my moments of uncertainty, I can always look to the One who knows it all. He holds my every moment in His hands and He is working them all for my good. That doesn’t mean I won’t face any problems or that I won’t have those times when all I want to do is run and hide because I don’t have any answers and can’t seem to figure anything out. But it does mean that I don’t have to face any of my moments of uncertainty alone.

Yes, yes, life is uncertain. But there is one thing I know for sure…

You’ll have to give me a minute, though. I’m trying to remember what it is. 😉

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When I Trust Him

When I trust Him,

My steps become a little lighter;

My breathing becomes a bit easier;

My thinking becomes a bit clearer.

 

When I trust Him,

I can let go of my burdens;

I can find peace in the midst of my storms;

I can meet uncertainty with courage.

 

When I trust Him,

I learn to face my fears with boldness;

I learn to rely on His strength to sustain me;

I learn to believe in the impossible.

 

When I trust Him,

I don’t have to live in shame;

I don’t have to be bound by my failures and regrets;

I don’t have to be constrained by the expectations of others.

 

When I trust Him,

I begin to love myself;

I begin to see beauty in my weaknesses;

I begin to find acceptance and self-worth.

 

When I trust Him,

I know that I am never alone;

I know that I always have someone to depend on;

I know that I always have arms to run to for shelter, rest, comfort, encouragement.

 

When I trust Him,

My sins are forgiven;

My hope is restored;

My life is forever changed.

 

When I trust Him…

 

Yes, I trust Him…

 

Lord, give me strength to trust you…

 

I don’t want to be the same.

His vs. Mine

He will cover you with His feathers;

you will take refuge under His wings.

His faithfulness will be a protective shield.

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:4‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

Did you catch that?

HIS faithfulness will be my protection.

Not MINE.

Because my faithfulness is fickle. It fluctuates with my circumstances. It wanes as dark times invade. It swells when the winds of good favor blow.

My faithfulness falters in the midst of a battle. It must be bolstered by the prayers of others. It must be stoked and fanned into mere sparks.

No, my faithfulness does not shield me from my enemies or push back the darkness.

HIS faithfulness does.

His faithfulness is never changing. It is not determined by my merit or my righteousness. It is not biased or self-serving.

His faithfulness cannot be measured. It has no limits. It’s reach is higher than the heavens and deeper than the depths of the oceans.

HIS faithfulness offers a shield of protection, a refuge in the storms of life, and warmth and security in times of trouble because this is who God is.

But mine?

My misplaced, feeble faithfulness so often does not accept His offer because this is who I am.

Whoever rests in the shadow

of the Most High God

will be kept safe by the Mighty One.

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭91:1‬ ‭NIRV‬‬

Even THIS Day

This IS the day the Lord has made.

Yes, even THIS day.

And all the days He made before it have prepared you for today. All the moments of gladness, moments of struggle, moments of doubt, moments of triumph and moments of sorrow that have filled your previous days have built the foundation of strength that will see you through this day.

This IS the day the Lord has made and HE will not allow you to live this day alone.  HE plans to spend it with you. HE intends to experience every moment by your side.  You can walk through this day with confidence for there is nothing in this day that will take its Maker by surprise.

Yes, this IS the day the Lord has made.

No matter what it holds, joy or sadness, healing or pain, celebration or mourning, you can trust the Lord to carry you through.

And in this assurance, you CAN rejoice and be glad!

Why I Keep Sharing SMILES

To some, it may be silly. To others, pointless.

To some, it’s naive positivity. To others, a resented point of view.

To me, it’s a necessity and the SMILES will continue.

They must continue…

Since the onset of this COVID-19 craziness, I’ve experienced a myriad of emotions.

I’ve gone from fear of an unknown virus ravaging the world and destroying all I hold dear to anger over the decisions made by others, decisions that affect my safety and the safety of my family.

I’ve moved from sadness over the death of people that I know, that I’ve worshipped with, that I’ve worked with, to relief over my own suspicious symptoms being deemed non-virus related.

I’ve worried about family and friends, praying for the safety of those who remain healthy and for the healing of those who are fighting for their lives in isolation.

I’ve been grateful that my job is considered essential, that I can make a paycheck, pay my bills, buy groceries, while simultaneously feeling guilty that I’m still working when so many are not and are struggling to make ends meet.

I’ve been anxious, stressed and overwhelmed as I’ve navigated these uncertain times with a husband who has been dealing with major health issues, non-virus issues, but problems that seem to have no remedy, problems that keep arising and causing him to worry, stress and be overwhelmed.

I’ve found solace in Scripture and listening to worship music throughout the day only to have that consolation disappear as the lights turn out at night and the prayers begin…

Why, God? How much more of this can we take? How long, Lord?

I am emotionally exhausted.

There are times I want to give in to it all – to the fear, the anxiety, the stress. There are times when I can barely fight back the tears, those same tears that flow so freely as I’m writing this post. There are times I feel helpless believing there’s nothing I can do to make things any different.

But maybe I can.

Maybe, I can hang on to my faith. Maybe, I can trust that no matter what happens, all will be well. Maybe, I can share that hope with others.

So, guess what? I’m going to keep grasping for reasons to SMILE. I’m going to keep thinking of ideas that will spread those SMILES to others because I need to. I need to focus on the light, on the hope. I need to focus on the Source of that hope.

If I don’t, well…

My sanity, my emotional health, my faith, my hope – there’s just too much at stake.

He’s Got You

Your world may seem out of control;

Your future may seem uncertain;

Your questions may seem unanswered

But there’s no need to worry –

He’s got you.

 

You may feel like your dodging curve balls

Life is relentlessly throwing your way;

You may feel you never catch a break

But there’s no need to doubt –

He’s got you.

 

Your hope may seem dried up;

Your faith may seem extinguished;

Your dreams and your prayers may see futile

But there’s no need to give up –

He’s got you.

 

No matter your situation right now, in this very moment, remember this one truth:

GOD’S GOT YOU!

He’s holding you in the palm of His hand. He is surrounding you with His loving arms. He is working out your troubles for your good. He is preparing you for His glorious purpose.

 

He hasn’t forgotten you.

He hasn’t forsaken you.

He hasn’t failed you.

 

He loves you.

You are His child.

You can breathe easy because

HE’S GOT YOU.

Duck Walk vs. Dog Face: The Battle for Self-Worth

There she was, sitting with her face buried in her hands, tears trickling through her fingers and soft sobs evading her feeble attempt at concealment.  I looked on with mixed emotions.  I was frustrated with the boy who caused the tears, sympathetic of the girl who had been offended and completely overwhelmed by memories from my past.  The scene was all too familiar and it carried me back to my childhood, to a time when I was sitting where this child sat, a time that forever changed my view of who God made me to be.

I was there – completely broken, tears streaming down my face and spirit crushed because of someone’s careless words.  I still remember the hurt I felt as I heard that awful name spewing from the mouth of a teenage boy in front of the whole world, or so it seemed.  We were on the school bus but it might as well have been the whole world.  I was 9 years old.  I was different because of a physical disorder and all I wanted was to fit in, to be accepted, to be normal.   That day, this teenager’s laughter and mocking dashed any hopes I had of that happening.

I couldn’t contain my tears.  I couldn’t wait to get off of that bus.   I wanted to be at home.  I wanted my mom.  And my mom is just who I needed because the advice she gave me that day impacted my life in ways I could never have imagined.  I don’t remember everything my mom said that afternoon but I will never forget what she told me to do the next day on the school bus.  She told me to fight back, to retaliate the next time this teenager called me a name.  I was a tiny little thing and this boy was probably four times my size but my mom said to stand my ground.  It empowered me.

I know what you are thinking.  “Your mom actually told you to call that kid a name?”  Yes, she did and she even gave me the name to call him!  And being the good little girl that I was, I did exactly what my mom told me to do.  The very next afternoon, after I struggled up the bus steps and began walking down the aisle to my seat, I heard it.  The words “Duck Walk” pierced through the commotion of kids playing and talking and hit me square in the back of the head.  I turned, glared straight into the boy’s face and returned insult for insult.  “Dog Face!” I blurted.  He did not strike back.  Instead, he smiled, sat down and never called me “Duck Walk” again.

At age 9, I didn’t quite grasp the value of the lesson I learned that day or fully understand all that my mom was trying to teach me but today, I have come to cherish the priceless wisdom I gained from that experience.  My mom was reminding me of who I was that afternoon when she told me to fight back.  She was showing me that God does not make mistakes despite the opinions of the world and that I cannot let anyone tell me differently.  I cannot let anyone steal my joy, my happiness or my hopes.  That’s quite a lesson learned from simply calling a bully a “Dog Face”!

And so, I passed this lesson on to the girl who had been insulted, the girl who is picked on every day at school because she does not look like everyone else.  No, I did not tell her to call her bullies some silly name – I left that to her mom!  But I did tell her to stand her ground, to take pride in who God made her to be, to defy Satan in his attempts to steal her joy, and to hold her head up high.  God has a purpose for this precious girl and she’s going to be just fine.  She may not understand it now but one day she’ll be standing in my place passing on this pearl of wisdom to another little girl or little boy who needs to know that God’s Love is so much greater than any insult hurled by this world and that God does not make mistakes.

Happiness in Uncertainty

“I know one thing for sure,” my husband declared as he walked through our bedroom door with a tall glass of sweet tea in his hand. The statement came out of nowhere but was made as if the two of us had finished a long debate on some deep subject about which neither of us were able to come to any conclusion and the only way to end such a debate was to state a matter of certainty. It’s highly possible, though, that my husband had debated the matter all in his head prior to entering our room and felt the need to sum it up for me with his enlightened statement of truth.

No matter, I was curious and eagerly inquired of his certainty. “What’s that?” I asked.

He paused for a brief moment at the foot of our bed as if searching for the perfect words to express his great truth. Finally he replied, “Give me a minute. I’m trying to remember what I was going to tell you.” Then he lifted his glass and took a long drink of sweet tea as I laughed at his forgetfulness.

And I did laugh – not because I was mocking him (well, maybe just a little – okay! A lot!) but because that brief conversation with my husband pretty much sums up my life. When I think I have it all figured out, life always takes a surprising turn and everything I thought I knew for certain gets thrown out the window. I find myself stumped and perplexed around every bend and when called upon to take action or make a decision or simply respond, I hear myself saying, “Uhm. Give me a minute.”

Ah, but maybe that’s the certainty: Life is uncertain. And maybe that’s what makes life worth living. If I had all the answers, if I knew every situation I would face, what kind of life would that be? Sure, if I knew what problems await me tomorrow, I could take steps to avoid them. But what if by avoiding a problem, I miss a valuable lesson that could help me in the future or make me a better me? And wouldn’t knowing all the good that was coming my way take some of the joy out of the blessing?

I don’t know.

I do know that in my moments of uncertainty, I can always look to the One who knows it all. He holds my every moment in His hands and He is working them all for my good. That doesn’t mean I won’t face any problems or that I won’t have those times when all I want to do is run and hide because I don’t have any answers and can’t seem to figure anything out. But it does mean that I don’t have to face any of my moments of uncertainty alone.

Yes, life is uncertain. But there is one thing I know for sure…

You’ll have to give me a minute, though. I’m trying to remember. 😉

A Year of Smiles – Day 311

Reason to SMILE #311: THE VIEW

This is my view in the mirror in the restroom at work:

This is my view in the mirror in the restroom at the local putt-putt center:

Being short has it’s disadvantages – especially when I’m trying to see ALL of me in a mirror made for tall people! It’s tough to powder my nose, check my teeth for food or make sure my clothes are as they should be when all I can see is the top of my head. You should see me stretching on my tippy-toes to make myself tall enough to see my entire face or climbing up on top of the bathroom cabinets or fixtures to get a better view of all of me. It’s pretty hilarious!

<SIGH>

Most days, though, I simply settle for the limited view in my itty, bitty makeup mirror.

Nose too shiny? Nope. Teeth okay? Yep. Wait. What happened to my other earring? One piece of me at a time is all I can see so the best I can do is get each feature just right and trust that in doing so, the whole of me will be fine.

Reminds me a little bit of our view of life. We don’t always get the entire picture. We  have to settle for a small piece at a time – the view that’s lying directly before us. This limited view makes it difficult to feel at ease sometimes. We stress because we want to see the whole layout, what’s happening next, how the situations of today are going to be resolved and what the end result of our life will be.

That’s not how life works, though, is it? We have to learn to be okay with one snippet at a time. And we can find peace in knowing that God can see it all. The Alpha and Omega has the best vantage point ever! When we leave the big picture of life to God, we’re free to focus on what’s lying directly in front of us for it’s our current situations that are preparing us for what lies ahead.

One day all of the snippets and scenes of life will be pieced together for us to see. And if we’ve done our best to live out each moment in the way that is pleasing to God, the big picture will not only make us SMILE but our Heavenly Father will be SMILING as well.

 

 

A Year of Smiles – Day 125

Reason to SMILE #125: KLEENEX®

There I was standing in the choir loft in the middle of Sunday evening service fighting back tears.  “Not now,” I told myself.  “Just keep it together a little while longer.”  It was almost time for my solo and there was no way I was going to let myself cry.  My pep talk did absolutely no good, however, and as the Spirit moved boldly through our church service, my tears began to flow…

…and so did the dripping from my nose!

I looked around for tissues.  Why were there no tissues in the church choir loft?  I sniffed and brushed my tears with my hand.  The waterworks were flowing almost uncontrollably at that point.  I sniffed, again.  “What am I going to do?” I frantically thought.”  I sniffed, again.  “This is just gross.  I must do something.  I have to sing and my song is next!”  So, in the middle of a corporate song of worship, as everyone was watching the screen above the choir (at least I hoped), I took the only measure available to me at the time.  I turned around, faced the wall behind me and wiped my nose with my sleeve.

As disgusting as that sounds, it would have been unnoticed had I not been on the front row of the choir with the Pastor standing right behind me.  I’m sure it was not a pleasant sight for him to see his Children’s Minister wiping her snotty nose on her shirt sleeve.  But I do work with kids so… 😉

Despite my battle to curb the raging flow of mucus, I was actually able to sing without sniffing through the entire song.  But looking back, I’m not sure if my snotty nose would have mattered.  God’s presence was felt in our church that evening and I know I was not the only one moved.

Who knows.  I may not have even been the only one who used her shirt sleeve as a hanky, either…

…Just let me tell myself that, please.  It’s the only way I can SMILE about this whole ordeal! 😉

By the way, there are now Kleenex in the church choir loft.

 

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