Happiness in Uncertainty

“I know one thing for sure,” my husband declared as he walked through our bedroom door with a tall glass of sweet tea in his hand. The statement came out of nowhere but was made as if the two of us had finished a long debate on some deep subject about which neither of us were able to come to any conclusion and the only way to end such a debate was to state a matter of certainty. It’s highly possible, though, that my husband had debated the matter all in his head prior to entering our room and felt the need to sum it up for me with his enlightened statement of truth.

No matter, I was curious and eagerly inquired of his certainty. “What’s that?” I asked.

He paused for a brief moment at the foot of our bed as if searching for the perfect words to express his great truth. Finally he replied, “Give me a minute. I’m trying to remember what I was going to tell you.” Then he lifted his glass and took a long drink of sweet tea as I laughed at his forgetfulness.

And I did laugh – not because I was mocking him (well, maybe just a little – okay! A lot!) but because that brief conversation with my husband pretty much sums up my life. When I think I have it all figured out, life always takes a surprising turn and everything I thought I knew for certain gets thrown out the window. I find myself stumped and perplexed around every bend and when called upon to take action or make a decision or simply respond, I hear myself saying, “Uhm. Give me a minute.”

Ah, but maybe that’s the certainty: Life is uncertain. And maybe that’s what makes life worth living. If I had all the answers, if I knew every situation I would face, what kind of life would that be? Sure, if I knew what problems await me tomorrow, I could take steps to avoid them. But what if by avoiding a problem, I miss a valuable lesson that could help me in the future or make me a better me? And wouldn’t knowing all the good that was coming my way take some of the joy out of the blessing?

I don’t know.

I do know that in my moments of uncertainty, I can always look to the One who knows it all. He holds my every moment in His hands and He is working them all for my good. That doesn’t mean I won’t face any problems or that I won’t have those times when all I want to do is run and hide because I don’t have any answers and can’t seem to figure anything out. But it does mean that I don’t have to face any of my moments of uncertainty alone.

Yes, yes, life is uncertain. But there is one thing I know for sure…

You’ll have to give me a minute, though. I’m trying to remember what it is. 😉

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No Spotlight Required

Some people were meant for the light. They shine when its beams hit their faces. They come alive; they thrive. They make all those around them stand in awe. They command the world’s attention. They have the gaze of every eye when they enter a room.

Most of us, however, were only meant to look on, to revel at the glow and to dream of what it might be to stand in the light’s splendor. We constantly seek out the light. We do all that we can to get its attention, to somehow turn its gleam our way. We long for the glory the spotlight brings. We long to be seen, to be heard, to be found.

Yet, when we find the chance to step into the light, we’re often disappointed. We’re blinded by its brightness and left feeling vulnerable, less than perfect, less than desirable. For in the light, there is no room for mistakes. There is no room for insecurities or hesitations. In the light, everything is revealed, every flaw is seen and every mistake is magnified.

It is a lonely feeling to be left with the realization that we weren’t made for the spotlight, that we weren’t meant for all the attention the light can bring. But even more lonely is living out of the spotlight and never realizing that that is ok, never being happy with who we are or what we are made of, never discovering that our ability to shine comes from within.

You see, the spotlight is wonderful but its glimmer is fleeting. What truly matters is what happens outside that circle of light. That is where life happens. That is where decisions are made, relationships are formed, talents are honed, personalities are developed, stories are written and journeys are taken. Out of the spotlight, we have the freedom to be ourselves, to make mistakes, to love, to be sad, to cry, to say things we might regret, to make bad choices, to seek forgiveness for those choices, to take risks, to fall down, to get back up, to live.

I believe there will always be a longing for the spotlight. There will always be that question of what it may feel like to be the center of attention, to be the one who captivates the room. But once we realize that living out of the spotlight offers just as much fulfillment, if not more, then the prominence doesn’t seem so enticing. And as the acclaim of the spotlight fades, we are then able to see the light that shines within each one of us. We can see the spark that makes each of us truly unique.

Yes, some people were made for the spotlight, reflecting only the light that is cast upon them.

But we were all made to shine, lighting the world with our God-given individuality, talents, skills, character, heart and soul.

No spotlight required.

When I Trust Him

When I trust Him,

My steps become a little lighter;

My breathing becomes a bit easier;

My thinking becomes a bit clearer.

 

When I trust Him,

I can let go of my burdens;

I can find peace in the midst of my storms;

I can meet uncertainty with courage.

 

When I trust Him,

I learn to face my fears with boldness;

I learn to rely on His strength to sustain me;

I learn to believe in the impossible.

 

When I trust Him,

I don’t have to live in shame;

I don’t have to be bound by my failures and regrets;

I don’t have to be constrained by the expectations of others.

 

When I trust Him,

I begin to love myself;

I begin to see beauty in my weaknesses;

I begin to find acceptance and self-worth.

 

When I trust Him,

I know that I am never alone;

I know that I always have someone to depend on;

I know that I always have arms to run to for shelter, rest, comfort, encouragement.

 

When I trust Him,

My sins are forgiven;

My hope is restored;

My life is forever changed.

 

When I trust Him…

 

Yes, I trust Him…

 

Lord, give me strength to trust you…

 

I don’t want to be the same.

Reason to SMILE #104: GOOD FRIDAY

He was arrested.

He was interrogated.

He was put on trial.

He was traded for a murderer.

He was stripped.

He was beaten.

He was forced to wear a crown of thorns.

He was mocked.

He was nailed to a cross.

He died an excruciating death.

 

So what’s so good about Good Friday?

 

He did it all for you and me!

Jesus, the Son of God and Savior of the world, died a death that He did not deserve so you and I could live a life we do not deserve.  He paid the price for our sin.  He took our punishment.

Without his death, we have no life.

Without his sacrifice, we have no redemption.

Without his gift, we have no hope.

 

Good Friday is good because God is good.

 

God gave His one and only Son, Jesus, to die in our place so we, if we believe and entrust our lives to Him, can have everlasting life.  Yes.  That’s why Good Friday is good and that’s why we can SMILE today.

By the way, the redemption story doesn’t end with Good Friday.  Jesus’ death and burial was not the final chapter.  Want to know how it ends?

You’ll have to wait til Sunday – – –

– – – that’s when the real SMILING begins!

Who Am I?

Tell us about yourself in no more than four sentences.

Four sentences? That’s all?!?

How can I reduce myself to only four sentences?  How can I convey all that I am – my hopes, my dreams, my passions, my philosophy – in four measly lines?

How will they ever know how perfect I am for this writer/researcher job if I can’t give them more than four sentences?  Do you think they’ll accept run-on sentences?

Let me check the requirements…

Nope. Requirement #5 – Proper grammar and spelling is mandatory.

Well, pooh.

Seriously, people. Do you really expect me to squeeze 4 decades into 4 lines. That’s only one sentence per decade!

How am I supposed to – –

Oh, wait.

What if I can’t write four sentences?

What if all that I am boils down to a few simple words? A sentence fragment. Not even a complete thought!

What if my life can be summed up in a tombstone inscription?

Here lies KJ Smith. Beloved wife, mother, daughter.

That’s not even two complete sentences. Ohhhh, my life is so sad!!! <AAAAAGGHHH>

No, no. I can do this. I’m blowing this thing way out of proportion. This could be a great opportunity for me. And for the company. Heck! That company needs me!

They need to know what an interesting person I am and what an asset I will be.

Yeah. That’s right. I’m an asset!

Sure, I may be a bit of a strange creature.

And, yes, I might even call myself “weird”. But that’s only because I simply don’t see the world as others do. I have a unique perspective.

A unique perspective – that sounds pretty good. I think I’ll use that.

I have to admit, though, I do have a sort of odd sense of humor.

I find myself laughing at the crazy images flashing in my head created by the poorly chosen words of others. Those others who spoke the poorly chosen words don’t seem to appreciate my laughter.

Let’s call that imaginative and light-hearted. That’ll work.

At times, I might be considered a goofball. (I once held a friend’s gallon of milk for ransom.) But most of the time, I’m content watching others be goofballs.

Observant – that’s a good job skill, right?

Most days, I don’t feel like I fit in – with my peers, with other women, with the rest of the world.

I have difficulty expressing my desires, such as what I want for my birthday, what I want for my future, what I want for me. It drives my husband crazy.

Decisions are not my forte. That also drives my husband crazy.

Maybe those last few revelations aren’t absolutely necessary.

Speaking of driving my husband crazy, I am a bit of a smart alec. Did I say “a bit”? Sure, we’ll leave it at “a bit.”

I think the operative word there is “smart”. Yes, yes. Remember to emphasize “smart”!

I find beauty in the broken – things, situations, people.

An optimist – Oooo, that’s good!

I feel that everyone deserves to be viewed through the eyes of love.

A people person – who’d’ve thunk it!

On the other hand, I have very little tolerance for incompetence. I take pride in my work and think everyone else should, as well.

OK. That sounds a bit haughty. How about “I hold myself to a higher standard”? Yeah. That might work.

I love the Lord. I love my family. I love coffee. I love to write. I love music. I love the movie “Mary Poppins”. In that order. However, coffee’s ranking may fluctuate depending on certain circumstances.

I am quiet in a crowd. I am outspoken amongst family and close friends. I am hard-working on the job. I am lazy on my days off. I laugh at quirky humor. I roll my eyes when the humor is dry. I cry when – well, just about anything can make me cry.

Yep, I’m a strange creature and who I am today is a result of so many factors – my muscle disorder, my anxiety, my longing for acceptance, my desire for acknowledgment, my accomplishments, my failures, my relationships and so much more. God has used all of these things to shape me into a wonderfully unique individual who knows exactly what she brings to the table!

And knows that this is definitely not what the company was asking for.

Sigh.

Well, I guess it’s time to attempt the abridged version. 😉

Breathe

A couple of months ago, a Facebook friend was struggling with the death of a cherished friend and mentor.  His emotions were wreaking havoc with his mind and thoughts and the turmoil that ensued within was almost more than he could stand.  Post after post on his timeline told of his questions, his lack of understanding and his battle to find meaning in it all.  After weeks of wrestling with his grief and pain, one word began to premeate his thoughts –

He finally penned these words:

When you feel as if you can’t go on,

BREATHE.

When the storms of life cover you,

BREATHE.

When you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning,

BREATHE.

When you struggle with your emotions,

BREATHE.

When you feel as all is for naught,

BREATHE.

When you need a refreshing start,

BREATHE.

There are always going to be times when you feel choked off.  But know that the fresh breath of Oxygen will always be there to give you sustainable life.

– Ben Ford 4/8/18

Life can be overwhelming and if we aren’t careful, if we forget that we aren’t meant to do life alone, we can find ourselves suffocating under the weight of our burdens and cares.

In those desperate moments of grief, heartache, sorrow, uncertainty and helplessness, we must remember to breathe.

There is life-giving hope and strength in the surrender to our need to breathe.

There is rest and rejuvenation in each breath.

There is peace in the stillness that falls upon our souls.

Don’t allow life’s difficulties to smother you. Remember to breathe and in the quietness of each breath, talk to your Heavenly Father. Give Him your burdens, your troubles, your pain and your unanswered questions. Allow Him to breathe new life within you.

You can find peace in the midst of your turmoil today –

Just remember to

BREATHE.

 

---

*** The heartfelt words written by my friend not only reminded me of my need to stop, be still and breathe when overwhelmed with life, they also inspired me to WRITE A SONG! I hope to be able to share it with you very soon. So keep an ear out! ***

The Way to Life

 

He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness…

1 Peter 2:24 (NIV)

Happiness in Uncertainty

“I know one thing for sure,” my husband declared as he walked through our bedroom door with a tall glass of sweet tea in his hand. The statement came out of nowhere but was made as if the two of us had finished a long debate on some deep subject about which neither of us were able to come to any conclusion and the only way to end such a debate was to state a matter of certainty. It’s highly possible, though, that my husband had debated the matter all in his head prior to entering our room and felt the need to sum it up for me with his enlightened statement of truth.

No matter, I was curious and eagerly inquired of his certainty. “What’s that?” I asked.

He paused for a brief moment at the foot of our bed as if searching for the perfect words to express his great truth. Finally he replied, “Give me a minute. I’m trying to remember what I was going to tell you.” Then he lifted his glass and took a long drink of sweet tea as I laughed at his forgetfulness.

And I did laugh – not because I was mocking him (well, maybe just a little – okay! A lot!) but because that brief conversation with my husband pretty much sums up my life. When I think I have it all figured out, life always takes a surprising turn and everything I thought I knew for certain gets thrown out the window. I find myself stumped and perplexed around every bend and when called upon to take action or make a decision or simply respond, I hear myself saying, “Uhm. Give me a minute.”

Ah, but maybe that’s the certainty: Life is uncertain. And maybe that’s what makes life worth living. If I had all the answers, if I knew every situation I would face, what kind of life would that be? Sure, if I knew what problems await me tomorrow, I could take steps to avoid them. But what if by avoiding a problem, I miss a valuable lesson that could help me in the future or make me a better me? And wouldn’t knowing all the good that was coming my way take some of the joy out of the blessing?

I don’t know.

I do know that in my moments of uncertainty, I can always look to the One who knows it all. He holds my every moment in His hands and He is working them all for my good. That doesn’t mean I won’t face any problems or that I won’t have those times when all I want to do is run and hide because I don’t have any answers and can’t seem to figure anything out. But it does mean that I don’t have to face any of my moments of uncertainty alone.

Yes, life is uncertain. But there is one thing I know for sure…

You’ll have to give me a minute, though. I’m trying to remember. 😉

A Year of Smiles – Day 110

Reason to SMILE #110: UNDERSTANDING

“That’ll be $169,” the receptionist at the doctor’s office said as she looked up from her computer.

“Wait,” I balked. “That’s more than the price given to me over the phone when I made my appointment.  What’s the difference?”

“Your age,” the receptionist blurted without hesitation or even a hint of sympathy.

This getting old thing is no fun at all!  And I’m not that old, for Pete’s sake! (OK.  Maybe I shouldn’t say “for Pete’s sake.”  Kinda makes me sound old, doesn’t it?)

Annual checkups are no fun to begin with.  Enduring all that poking and prodding and having to answer a barrage of embarrassing questions is no walk in the park, that’s for sure.  Then after all of that, to be penalized for being another year older…  That’s just plain rude.

But the cherry on top was the order to cut back on the fats in my diet.  You mean, I can’t even eat like a young person anymore?  C’mon!  What else is there to live for? 😉  Well, not really knowing what to eat or not eat, I did a quick google search of foods that I need to avoid in order to lower my cholesterol.  According to almost every article on the subject, I must watch saturated and trans fats, avoid fatty meats and cut out simple sugars like those found in candy, soda, cakes and cookies.

I am going to die…

…very soon!  Either that or I’m going to kill those closest to me as I go through withdrawals.  You have now been forewarned, by the way.

But here is where my SMILE comes in.  I know I’m not the only one who is getting older every year.  It sounds silly to say because aging is unavoidable.  It’s easy, though, to be so wrapped up in our own problems that we begin to believe we’re alone in our plights – even in aging and all the struggles that come with it.  So, I know that no matter the new and interesting experiences I face each year I grow older, there will always be someone who has either been through it already or is going through it at the same time I am.

I am not alone.  These crazy things happening to me are not unique (although they seem pretty darn unique to me!).   There will always be someone who completely understands what I am going through and who is willing to put their arm around me and tell me I’m not going to die if I cut sugars out of my diet.  Or…

There may just be those who look at me, laugh and say, “You’re a big girl now.  Suck it up!”  But if you think about it, there’s plenty of understanding in those words, too!

You’re not the only one facing your struggles.  I bet if you’d look, you’d be sure to find someone with enough understanding to help you SMILE today.

Go on.  Take a look.  An understanding SMILE is waiting.

 

Image by symbols-n-emoticons.com

 

A Year of Smiles – Day 104

Reason to SMILE #104: GOOD FRIDAY

He was arrested.

He was interrogated.

He was put on trial.

He was traded for a murderer.

He was stripped of his clothes.

He was beaten.

He was forced to wear a crown of thorns.

He was mocked.

He was nailed to a cross.

He died an excruciating death.

So what’s so good about Good Friday?

 

He did it all for you and me!

 

Jesus, the Son of God and Savior of the world, died a death that He did not deserve so you and I could receive a life we do not deserve.  He paid the price for our sin.  He took our punishment.

Without his death, we have no life.

Without his sacrifice, we have no redemption.

Without his gift, we have no hope.

 

Good Friday is good because God is good.  He gave His one and only Son, Jesus, to die in our place so we, if we believe and entrust our lives to Him, can have everlasting life.  Yes.  That’s why Good Friday is good and that’s why we can SMILE today.

 

By the way, the redemption story doesn’t end with Good Friday.  Jesus’ death and burial was not the final chapter.  Want to know how it ends?  You’ll have to wait til Sunday – that’s when the real SMILING begins!

 

Image by symbols-n-emoticons.com