I’ve wasted so much of my adult life NOT laughing.
I’ve spent plenty of time crying, plenty of time worrying and plenty of time being angry.
I’ve spent countless hours wondering why I don’t fit in. I’ve spent day after day regretting past mistakes. I’ve spent most of my years pretending that I’m okay with the “lot” I have been given and secretly wishing it all away.
And now, here I sit, only a few short years away from half a century, spending most of my time wondering what my purpose in this world still might be and being so very tired from all this overthinking.
I’m ready for a change.
I’m ready to find all the smiles I keep telling you to find. I’m ready to get rid of all the stuff in my life that isn’t truly me. I’m ready to live unapologetically, without concern of the thoughts of others and without fear of repercussions.
I’m ready to sit around the fire pit or around the dinner table or on the back porch, wherever it may be, sharing stories with friends and family, joking with each other, making fun of each other, singing whatever old song is on the radio and laughing –
– laughing so hard tears stream down our cheeks and snot shoots out of our noses,
– laughing so hard we can’t breathe,
– laughing so hard the troubles of this world disappear, our cares melt away and all that matters are those moments… those moments of laughter which are never wasted.
She sat alone in the back of a quiet sanctuary. It was her spot. She would sneak in the back every Sunday just after the morning service began. She’d listen as the songs were sung and the sermon was preached and then slip out during the invitation – a quick “pick me up” for the week.
The problem is it never worked.
For some time now, her heart has been hurting. She’s been walking through life as if in a fog – a fog that would never lift. She’s been searching for answers, for an escape from the shadows that smothered her hopes and dreams. She’s been longing for an end to her desolation but hasn’t been able to find it.
As far as she was concerned, there was only one way out – only one way to end her burdens and suffering. She knew the darkness, the sadness, the dreariness of her life was a result of her own choices. She had thrown away her dreams. She had caused her own misery. Only she could end the pain.
She made her way to the back pew of the church one last time. Tears were streaming down her face as the pastor invited the congregation to pray. She had not prayed in years but she wanted to pray one last time. The weight of her burdens was so heavy she almost couldn’t stand. She struggled to her feet and made her way to the altar. She didn’t know what to say but as her tears drenched the altar, her heart began to plead with the Father:
“Lord, bring your favor to this desolate sanctuary.
Lord, shine your light into this darkened tomb.
Lord, pour your spirit on this tattered and broken temple.
Lord, may your presence fill this life anew.”
She thought this would be her last prayer so she held nothing back. She poured out her soul and laid the broken pieces of her life before the Lord. She cried out in anger, in desperation, in brokenness. She expected nothing but in the midst of her tears, she found everything. The Father that she had walked away from so many years before was waiting for her with arms open wide. He picked up her broken pieces and opened her eyes to the hope that only He can give. He wiped away her tears, picked her up and filled her with the light of His Love.
One last prayer changed her life forever.
What about you? Are you living in a fog, in the shadow of your regrets? Do you feel like your life is a desolate wasteland? Are you haunted by the choices of your past? Are you pursuing things of this world, things that are leading you away from the Giver of abundant life? Are you ready to give up?
It’s time. Give it up today. Take it to our Heavenly Father and give it all to Him. You may have walked away. You may have made all the wrong choices but you do not have to remain in desolation. He is waiting for you with open arms. He wants to restore you. He wants to take the broken pieces of your life and make them into something beyond your wildest dreams. He wants to heal your soul and love on you today. Don’t wait any longer! Go ahead and Pray!