Happiness with Yourself

Let’s be honest.

We’ve probably all spent too much precious time worrying about what others think. (Please don’t tell me I’m the only one!)

It’s counterproductive. It’s self-destructive and it’s a complete waste of the life each of us has been given.

So, why do we do it? Why does it matter so much what others think of us?

Maybe it has something to do with our innate desire to be accepted, to feel like we belong, to believe that we are important and have a valuable place in this world.

Maybe it has something to do with our insecurities and that self-sabotaging voice in our heads that tells us we aren’t enough.

No matter the reason for our concern, all of us people-pleasing worry warts should remember these wise words of Eleanor Roosevelt:

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

Harsh, Mrs. Roosevelt. Harsh.

But, oh, so true!

You see, folks are pretty occupied with their own lives and when we realize this, we can see how silly it is to waste time wondering what others are thinking about us.

Of course, there are times when we need to take the opinions of others into consideration but when it comes down to it, there is only one opinion that matters above all else – GOD’S. After all, He is the source of your life, your blessings and your joy!

So, I say to you (and to me!):

Quit wondering what they are thinking or what they will say.

If you like the way something looks, wear it.

If you want to try something new, do it.

If you want to change careers, make the change.

If you want to post silly videos on social media in an attempt to encourage yourself and maybe a few others, then post away.

If it’s in line with what God wants for you, He’ll bless it, multiply it and use it in ways you could never imagine.

Just be the You God created you to be and quit trying to be the You that you think everyone expects you to be.

When you’re able to accomplish this, being happy with who you are will never be a problem!

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“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭6‬-‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2‬:‭10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16‬:‭2‬-‭3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Praying My Way Into Monday

Lord, walk with me today.

My to-do list is long. My responsibilities are overwhelming and my stress level is at an all-time high.

I am beginning my day with feelings of inadequacy, frustration and anxiety. I’m beginning my week already feeling defeated.

I can’t do this day alone.

Please open my eyes, my mind and my spirit to your undeniable presence. Help me to rely on your strength in every moment of this day.

When I’m unsure, give me the wisdom to ask for help from those you’ve placed around me. Weaken my stubborn resolve to always lean on my own understanding.

When I’m frustrated, give me the courage to let go of the things I can’t control. Then help me resist the urge to take them all back.

When I’m stressed, calm my spirit and focus my mind. Speak your peace over me. And when the problems and negativity begin to distract and overwhelm, please steady my gaze upon you.

I give this day to you, Lord. After all, you are its Maker. Help me not to squander any moment on worry, doubt, fear or anger. Help me to remember who you made me to be and remind me of your purpose for my life in this place and in this moment. Use me to make a difference.

May every word I say, every action I take and every choice I make bring you Joy.

In your Son’s precious name, I pray all these things.

Amen.

Reason to SMILE #243: Laughter – Of Course!

It lightens our load.

It drowns out sadness.

It redirects our thoughts.

It promotes healing.

It brightens our face.

It makes snot shoot from our noses,
tears stream down our cheeks,
food project from our mouths and
leaves us gasping for air, holding our aching bellies and wishing it would never end!!

It really is awesome!

Laughter truly is the best medicine. And it’s even better when shared with a friend.

I hope you find a reason to laugh today!

A Good Measure

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭6‬:‭38‬ ‭NIV‬‬

You see?

The more joy you give, the more joy you’ll have!

Don’t miss the opportunity to spread joy with every opportunity that comes your way this week.

More Than

You put yourself out there; you laid it all down

But your heart, defenseless, was left on the ground.

Now you’ve resigned to believe what’s untrue –

That you aren’t enough to have someone love you.



You’ve attempted and failed – the times you can’t count.

You’ve heard “no”, been rejected. Now you have doubts

That it’s even worth all the heartache and pain

To reach for a dream you will never attain.



You’ve accepted your fate; you’ve given up hope

But before you reach the end of your rope,

Let me offer this truth you must understand:

Never let anyone make you feel less than –



Less than enough to walk by their side,

Less than enough to bring joy to this life,

Less than enough to be loved and accepted,

Less than enough to feel warm and protected.



You are a force with which no one can reckon!

Your presence is purposed; so forget imperfections.

Don’t listen to insults and shade cast your way.

Haters speak loudest when they are afraid –



Afraid of what might shine a light on their flaws

And expose their dark secrets in closets of halls

That display their accolades, trophies and bling –

Meaningless trinkets, all temporary things.



Look. Life will make you feel lost and alone.

Betrayal and heartache will call your soul home

And those you hold dearest may all disappear

But you’ll be okay and this is why, my dear:



You are not less than; you are more than enough

To rebound, to stand, to fight back, to be tough,

To shake dust from your shoes and shine like a star –

You’re enough!

You are more than!

Yes, that’s what you are!

Reason to SMILE #194: IMPERFECTIONS (It’s True!)

Not perfect?

You’re in good company – not a single one of us is!

So give yourself a break today and SMILE.

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“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi

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The Other Serenity Prayer

By Eleanor Brown

God, grant me the serenity to stop beating myself up for not doing things perfectly,
the courage to forgive myself because I am working on doing better, and the wisdom to know that you already love me just the way I am.

An Invitation to God’s Power and Grace

“We’ve been invited to a birthday party,” my husband informed me during his usual midday phone call. “It’s at 7 o’clock at the Mexican restaurant.”

My heart sank. Why a restaurant? I thought. I can’t handle restaurants.

My husband continued, “they said we could ride with them. I think I want to go.”

I’m not sure if it was the idea of getting out of the house that enticed him or if he was simply hungry for Mexican food but I could hear the eagerness in his voice.

“Do you want to go?” he finally asked.

“I’ll let you know,” was all I could respond.

What was I going to do? I didn’t want to disappoint my husband and I didn’t want to disappoint our friends, especially since we’ve “regretfully declined” so many of their invitations lately for one reason or another. But as I entertained the idea of accepting the current invitation, fear, anxiety and insecurity began to rear their ugly heads.

Fear questioned, What if you can’t get in and out of their car?

Anxiety readily reminded, You know you’re not going to be able to get up from the chair at the restaurant. Those chairs are always too short. Someone will have to help you stand up and that will be embarrassing for both you and your husband.

Insecurity chimed, And what if it’s crowded? Do you really want all those people watching you struggle with your cane as you walk through the restaurant?

Finally, I told my husband that he could accept the invitation and attend the party himself. He declined it. He didn’t want to go without me. Though I appreciated his concern for me, I spent the entire evening feeling guilty for, once again, succumbing to my fears and ultimately missing out on another opportunity to enjoy and live life.

This tends to be my mode of operation these days. When opportunities arise, I automatically  withdraw. I decline invitations. I avoid public places. I shy away from people and I hide out at home where I feel safe and secure.

Many would say that I have good reason to be so withdrawn. After all, living with a muscle disease can’t be easy.

No, my friends, it is not.

All my life, I’ve had to deal with the negative attention and ridicule that comes with having a physical disability and being different. I’ve had to come to grips with my physical limitations as I’ve struggled with the day-to-day activities of life, like climbing stairs, standing from a seated position and simply walking across a room. I’ve had to accept the fact that some people would not want me in their lives because of the uncomfortableness caused by my need for extra attention or assistance.

One would think, by now, I’d have it all figured out. I’d know how to navigate the sea of negativity that surrounds the life of the physically disabled. I wouldn’t worry about people staring or whispering behind my back. I wouldn’t care what the world thinks of me. But as I grow older, my disease progresses and new challenges arise, I’m finding that my old companions, fear, anxiety and insecurity, have a stronger grip on my life than ever.

Lying in bed the night of declining my friend’s birthday invitation, I was overwhelmed with feelings of hopelessness. I cried as I thought of my weakening body, my growing dependence on others and my losing battle with fear and anxiety. Was I destined to live this miserable existence – alone, cut off from the world, never to enjoy life, again?

“I’m miserable, God!” I cried. “Is this what the rest of my life is going to be?”

Then in the midst of my sorrow, I heard God whisper,

“My grace is sufficient for you,

for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

(2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

God’s power is made perfect in my weakness.

The world may laugh when I need assistance standing up from a seated position. The world may point when I struggle to climb a staircase. The world may stare and whisper behind my back when I clumsily walk through the room with my cane. But in all of my weakness, God sees a vessel for His power and grace.

I know I will give in to my negative emotions, again. It’s inevitable but I don’t have to give them control. I don’t have to shy away from living. I don’t have to worry if I will be mocked by the world. I am a child of God and He does not intend for me to live a miserable life overrun with fear, anxiety and insecurity. God wants me to give my weaknesses to Him and allow Him to use them for His glory.

He wants that for you, too. We all have something that causes insecurity in our lives, something that makes us feel small or insignificant or even weak. But God has invited all of us to give these weaknesses over to Him, to live in His sufficient Grace and to let His power be perfected in and through our lives.

That’s one invitation I definitely don’t want to decline.

 

Reason to SMILE #199: BEING YOURSELF

Much of my life, I’ve longed to be like everyone else. I’ve wanted to fit in, to be seen as an equal to my peers.

I’ve dreamed of finding a place where I could feel at home and a group of people with which I could feel comfortable.

I’ve dreamed of the day I could walk into a building, see faces light up because of my presence and hear my name shouted across the room.

Wait – that’s a TV show –

“Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your na-a-ame”¹

Bum-bum-bum

“And they’re always glad you ca-a-ame”¹

Sorry. I couldn’t resist.

But wouldn’t it be nice?…

Rarely do I ever feel as though I fit in. Rarely do I feel comfortable in a group, no matter how large or small. Rarely do I feel accepted for me, just me.

But I’ve learned a thing or two about acceptance and fitting in along my journey in life. You see, no matter how much I long to be the same as others or fit into a particular group, I simply wasn’t made for that.

Neither were you!

You and I were made to be different,

to stand out from the crowd and

to glorify God with our uniqueness.

Yep. I am very different. Maybe even a bit weird. But that’s okay. God has a specific plan for all of my quirks and peculiarities and He has a wonderful plan for yours, too!

So, embrace your uniqueness and SMILE.

 

 

¹ “Cheers Theme Song” by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart-Angelo

Journey Back to Joy

There I was minding my own business, driving down the road, searching for the perfect song on the radio to get me pumped for work.

I tuned into the Christian radio station and listened for a split second.

Too mellow, I thought.

Country was the next station on the dial. (Are they still called dials? Am I showing my age?)

Nooooooo! I groaned. Not this early in the morning.

I searched again and suddenly found myself flashing back to my teenage years as I sat in my living room with my little sister watching “The Little Mermaid” for the 5000th time!

Sorry, Disney, “Kiss de Girl” is not going to cut it this morning.

C’mon! I complained. I need an anthem. I need a song that’ll get me out of my seat (not literally, I was driving!), turn my bad mood upside down and prepare me for the day ahead.

That’s not asking too much, is it?

I pushed the search button once again, and my heart’s desire was met with the unmistakable sound of a rumbling piano chord followed by a playful angelic arpeggio, a brief pause and then those epic words we all know and love:

“At first I was afraid, I was petrified…”

FINALLY! This was it! I sat back in my seat and began to sing along with the incomparable Gloria Gaynor as she belted, “No, not I! I will survive!”

Everything was fine and dandy –

– til the waterworks started.

Yep, the disco groove was thumping, the power anthem was blaring, and I was crying like a baby asking myself, “Why am I only surviving? Why am I not living?”

It was ridiculous. I felt ridiculous. I needed to stop crying. After all, I was driving. But the tears kept falling.

I tried to make a phone call. I needed to talk to someone – anyone! So I called out to Siri.

Nothing.

“Siri!” I desperately cried again.

Crickets.

I’m pretty sure Siri was jamming to the tunes while I was having a nervous breakdown behind the wheel and trying to merge into highway traffic!

Despite not being able to phone a friend, I was eventually able to calm down, stop crying and make it to work without incident – well, other than the severe mental crisis.

Later that day, I found a moment to talk with a friend and after laying my emotional baggage out on the table, I took a deep breath and anxiously awaited my friend’s advice.

But my friend only asked one simple question:

What can you change?

Unh.

I didn’t have an answer but I knew I had to find one.

It’s been several months since I cried through the greatest disco song of the 20th century and I’ve been struggling to find an answer to my friend’s question. It turns out that discovering how to live life abundantly after functioning for years in survival mode is not an easy task.

Go figure.

This is what I know so far:

1) God did not intend for us to merely survive our lives, to count the minutes until the day is done or to endure restless nights dreading the day ahead. God wants us to live life abundantly.

2) Our choices in life can prohibit us from enjoying God’s blessings.

3) No matter our mistakes, we can pick ourselves up, give everything back to God and start all over again.

So, here I am, minding my own business (because I actually have been neglecting my own business for far too long), searching for the answer to what needs to change and beginning my journey back to joy, my journey back to living.

I’m not sure what the journey will look like. But I know each step that leads me closer to joy will be worth it!

He Knew

“He set His face to go to Jerusalem.” (Luke 9:51)

He knew His humanity was temporary.
He knew His Father’s plan.
He knew His perfect life would be tarnished by the imperfections of a world He had embraced.
Jesus knew His purpose, still He chose the path He knew would lead to death.

He was God.
He was man.
Heavenly purpose mingled with earthly fears.
He knew no sin, yet He knew love.
He knew sorrow.
He knew joy.
He knew pain.

“Let this cup pass from me, but not my will but Thine be done.” (Matthew 26:39)

Our Lord knew His journey on this earth would lead to humiliation, anguish, abandonment and death. Still He chose to die. With deliberate intention, He walked the path to the cross pausing only to accomplish the work of His Father in the lives of those He touched along the way.

His steps were not hurried.
His load was not carefree.
He knew His Father’s plan.
He set His face to go to Jerusalem.
He set His face to go to the cross.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16).