A Year of Smiles – Day 54


When I don’t feel well, it’s not a good idea to give me bad news or to upset me.  Not feeling well causes me to be overly sensitive and things that normally wouldn’t affect me adversely evoke actions and reactions that I always regret.  For this reason, I prefer to be left alone when I am sick.  There are times, though, when I can’t recuperate in peace because I have obligations to fulfill.  These past two days have been those times and let’s just say it has not been good.

Yesterday, I received news from my child’s teacher that he wasn’t performing as he should in class.  In fact, he was the only one not doing as he should.  I saw the email a day after it was sent and I knew I needed to acknowledge the message.  However, I should have waited until I felt better.  Although my response was meant as a joke, it was filled with sarcasm and I knew it would not be well-received.  That didn’t stop me from sending it, though.  I have since apologized.

Today, I felt poorly enough to stay in bed but the responsibilities of work loomed over me.  So, I got up to check my work emails.  Big mistake.  A situation had grown out of control and I found myself and my work being attacked.  I flew off the handle and responded in anger.  Again, I should have waited until I was better or let my boss address the situation but I didn’t. Instead, I worked myself up into a tizzy, fuming and crying over something that I would have normally handled much differently if I had not been sick…. Or would I have handled it differently?

We use all kinds of excuses for our bad behavior, don’t we?  I just wasn’t myself.   My mindembarrassed-smiley-is-ashamed was on other things.  I’ve been under a lot of stress lately.  I’ve been sick.  Nobody’s perfect.  There are plenty of excuses to go around but these excuses can’t exonerate us from the implications of our bad behavior.  You see, we make excuses for one simple reason: we do not want to accept the fact that our bad behavior is a reflection of who we really are.  Yes, there are times when we are weaker than others because no one is perfect.  However, our actions and reactions in these times of weakness usually paint a clearer picture of our true selves.  Ugh.  I sure do have some improving to do!

Aren’t you glad God gives us room to grow and improve?  Aren’t you glad He understands our shortcomings and shows mercy when we use excuses to explain our bad behavior?  I know I am!  And even though I realize I can’t blame my bad behavior on being sick,  I can SMILE knowing that God isn’t finished with me, yet.  He’s still working on me because there’s always room for improvement!

Luke 6:45 (NIV)

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

Philippians 1:6 (NIV)

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.


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